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Today, I cried…

January 17, 2013

Macy

 ~*~

Today,

I cried.

Today,

I cleaned — a lot. I usually clean when I’m upset.

Today,

I am very upset and sad. So, I cleaned — a lot.

Today,

we had to say goodbye to our sweet Macy. She was a part of this family for nearly 13 years.

I guess, you could say, she was our first baby. We had her since before our boy was born.

Today,

 I remembered the day he dropped the little fur ball that she was into my lab, as a surprise.

Today,

I thought of our first few years with her. They were very tumultuous. She would run away the minute you opened the front door.

She loved to destroy the boy’s toys and nibble at his pudgy baby feet when he was in his Johnny Jumper.

She dug up most of the back yard and was just a crazy, excitable thing.

By the time the girls came along she mellowed out and was always very protective of them.

Today,

it was strange to only walk one dog.

Today,

I’m dreading  going to bed and missing the space she’s left behind — empty.

Today,

I thought, I was prepared for it. Knowing it was coming.

Today,

I was wrong.

Today,

I’m just heartbroken and so are the kids.

Middle keeps crying and talking about her. Little One doesn’t fully understand what’s going on.

She asked us if we could visit Macy and hubs tried to explain to her that she’s not here anymore.

Today,

I know, in my mind, that this is for the best. That she’s in a better place.

But my heart doesn’t want to hear it just yet.

Today,

 I imagine her playing with my parents’ dog Jerry Lee.

I imagine, he took her under his wing just like he did when she was a puppy and taught her how to drink out of the toilet.

Today,

that thought makes me smile through my tears.

Tomorrow,

will be better, I hope!

~*~

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22 Comments

  • Reply Petra January 17, 2013 at 9:54 pm

    Macy will always keep a special place in our hearts and I’m sure Jerry Lee will keep good care of her….

    • Reply Susi January 17, 2013 at 9:57 pm

      I hope so. I really do! Thanks, Mom. Love you.

  • Reply Kerstin @ Auer Life January 17, 2013 at 10:10 pm

    So sorry to hear (read) about this 🙁
    xo

    • Reply Susi January 17, 2013 at 10:32 pm

      Thanks, Kerstin.

  • Reply TBM January 18, 2013 at 5:15 am

    There are no words to tell you how sorry I am to hear this. Sending you a hug and my thoughts are with you.

    • Reply Susi January 18, 2013 at 11:41 am

      Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

  • Reply Beth Ann Chiles January 18, 2013 at 7:52 am

    Such a lovely post and tribute to a lovely friend. Thinking of you and the family and holding you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs.

    • Reply Susi January 18, 2013 at 11:40 am

      Thanks, Beth Ann for all your comments. I really appreciate it.

  • Reply Jennifer January 18, 2013 at 10:16 am

    Such a lovely, heartbreaking post… I am so sorry for your loss.

    • Reply Susi January 18, 2013 at 11:39 am

      Thanks, Jennifer.

  • Reply AnnMarie January 18, 2013 at 10:28 am

    Oh! I am so sorry for your loss. I can hear your sadness in your words. She sounds like a fabulous dog that is probably running around happy as a clam in Heaven. I know that it hurts that she’s not with you. HUGS!

    • Reply Susi January 18, 2013 at 11:39 am

      Thanks, Ann Marie. I appreciate it.

  • Reply Greta @gfunkified January 18, 2013 at 11:43 am

    I’m so, so sorry Susi. I know how much a part of the family pets are, and that they’re more a “family member” than a “pet”. Thinking of you.

    • Reply Susi January 18, 2013 at 1:16 pm

      Thanks, Greta. It’s so very true.

  • Reply Megan Broutian January 18, 2013 at 11:59 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Susi. I cannot even begin to imagine life without our little fur ball.

    • Reply Susi January 18, 2013 at 1:16 pm

      Megan, thanks. It’s hit me a lot harder than I ever imagined.

  • Reply Rorybore January 18, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    oh hon…..I’m so so sorry. Big hugs to all of you right now.
    and thanks for sharing all those wonderful memories of Macy with us.

    • Reply Susi January 18, 2013 at 1:16 pm

      Thanks, Les. It helped a little to write it out this way.

  • Reply Nanci January 18, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet Macy. It is so very hard, I know. She will always be with you. Sending you hugs…

    • Reply Susi January 18, 2013 at 1:14 pm

      Thanks so so much, Naci. I appreciate it. Hope Blue is feeling better.

  • Reply Tami January 21, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    My heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry Susi!

    • Reply Susi January 21, 2013 at 11:00 pm

      Thanks so much, Tami.

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